More Than You See

Cassidy Stancil, writer

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The Breakup 

Elle was sitting on her bed texting Campbell and crying her eyes out. Her eyes were red and they burned like someone had rubbed them with sandpaper. She felt this emptiness where there was once happiness.  She tries to calm herself down repeating the same words to herself “I’ll be okay.” She covers her mouth to try to hide the sounds of her crying because her family is home and she doesn’t want them to hear. Her mind starts racing, remembering every bad or rude thing she has ever said trying to find the problem, instead, she just finds reasons for people to hate her even more. She can’t breathe, her chest is tight, she gasps for air and it makes a loud noise, she throws her hands back over her mouth sobbing. 

The Next Day at School

Elle is walking through the hall on her way to class and she still can’t breathe, she feels like there is a ten-ton rock where her heart should be. Her eyes are still red and puffy from crying all night. She feels like everyone is watching and judging her. But she keeps thinking to herself It’s gonna be okay,  but she keeps feeling like it won’t. She finally gets to class and sits down, she has her headphones in listening to Billie Eilish. All the other noises around her are drowned out by the music but the music is drowned out by her thoughts. Her mind is racing again, thinking about anything she has ever done wrong to deserve this, she finds so many things in herself that make her hate herself even more. She’s overthinking and she knows it but she can’t stop. One solid tear runs down her cheek and she wipes it away. Not moments later it’s a whole waterfall of them. She feels like she is being surrounded by people asking her if she’s okay. She can’t breathe again, she gets up and runs to the bathroom finally able to breathe with no one around. The school counselor finds her and takes her to her office.  

The Counselor’s Office

“What’s going on with you Elle?” The counselor tried to talk to Elle but she was just staring at the ground with wide eyes. “Elle!” The counselor raised her voice. “Huh? I’m sorry.” Elle said in a whispery voice. “What’s been going on with you? Your grades are going down, you’re failing most of your classes, then I get a call from your teacher saying that you were crying. Are you okay?” The counselor says in a sweet, caring voice. Elle stays quiet for a moment and starts crying again. “No, I’m not. I don’t know what to do anymore,” she says sobbing “my parents are always fighting. I try so hard to make them happy and get them to stop but they won’t. My boyfriend broke up with me last night and I have no one. I am working an after school job now because my parents can’t afford much anymore and if I don’t work there’ll be no food for my little brother.” she sobs even harder. “Oh I see-” the school phone rang, Elle is checking out. It’s her mom “We’re leaving. We aren’t staying with your father anymore. Let’s go!”